that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
