Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
