How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
