Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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