Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
