Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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