Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
