school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
