what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
