hotel room ftw
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
