You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
