you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
