btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
