It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
