Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
