I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
