If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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