dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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