yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
