I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
