there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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