So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
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