I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
