HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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