You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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