right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
