I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
