okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
