So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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