What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Randomize
