Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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