The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
