My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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