Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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