i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
