Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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