Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
