She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
