the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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