White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I think I have vodka in my lungs
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
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