Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
