your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
