I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
