yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
