Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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