Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
