its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
