You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
