I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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