I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
