Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
