i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
