Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
