if i can run in heels then i can drive
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
