I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
